Do you live your life in fear, with anxiety or high stress levels?
Well that used to be me too.
I was always afraid that something bad was going to happen to my kids, my family, my partner.
If things were going well then I’d be waiting for something to come along and destroy it or as we put it, the other shoe to drop.
I spent most of my life anxious and in the flight or fight mode. So my poor body was pretty stressed out.
In family and relationships I learned at a young age what I would get into trouble for. I learned who I could trust and what I needed to do to stay out of the line of fire. I cut off pieces of me to try and fit in and fly under the radar. To be who I thought I needed to be for different people to be accepted and safe. I was known as the quiet one or the shy one and I was afraid of my own shadow.
I was super careful at all times about what I said and did so I wouldn’t upset anyone or look or sound stupid.
When I separated from my first husband it took me 6 weeks before I could sleep without a light on in the house and before I actually started to relax. I was scared of the dark. That’s 14 years ago now and things are much different.
I started my spiritual journey at 24 years ago when I got pregnant with my first son. Although there were snippets of it before that. In that time I have had many experiences and learned many natural healing modalities to become the me I am today.
As my kids grew up I instilled the same fears in them that I had. I was always worried something would happen or someone would get hurt. We lived across the road from the luge in Rotorua. I would watch the ambulances go in and out of there on a regular basis. Needless to say, that I kept my kids wrapped up in cotton wool. When their dad finally did take them, I couldn’t go as I didn’t want to be there if something happened because it was out of my control. ( I was a control freak). So I sat at home imagining the worst and freaking out.
I now know that a lot of my anxiety, fear and wanting to please came from being super aware of other people’s thoughts, feelings and emotions and thinking they were mine.
About 10 years ago I learned a modality and became aware that as someone who’s highly intuitive we can pick up on other people’s thoughts, feelings and emotions and think they are ours. Say what???? That was my reaction at the time and a light bulb moment.
So I wonder how much of your fear, anxiety and stress is not even yours? How much are you aware of, that is actually the people around you or that you have bought into as a kid?
Now this is not about making other people wrong as it’s our choice what we take on and buy into. I have come to know that everything is a choice, it’s our responsibility.
By taking responsibility for all of our actions and reactions, this empowers us to create change in our lives. Whereas if we look at it as being at the effect of something that someone has done to us, we become a victim and relinquish our power to create anything different.
At that time, I learned tools and systems to know what was mine and how to let go of what isn’t.
A question you can ask is, “Is this mine?” if your body relaxes and you take a deep breath, it is not yours. And you don’t have to go looking for whose it is, that is none of your business. It could be someone you don’t even know.
You see we are highly intuitive and so are our bodies and they can pick up on other people’s thoughts, feelings and emotions and we can automatically go into healing their bodies or taking on their emotions, as a way to help them out depending on what is going on for them.
The key to this is beginning to notice it. Once you begin to acknowledge it, you become consciously aware of it. This brings it out of the subconscious or unconscious which then allows you to choose something different.
So ask “Is this mine”, once again if your body relaxes and you take a deep breath then it’s not yours. Then say. “Ok I let that go”. If you notice it again, you just do it again. Remember you have been automatically thinking it’s yours for most of your life, so it’s learning something new and growing your muscles. It’s noticing it, without judgment or wrongness.
So for me, when I notice something coming up again, I go “oh I’m doing that again”, let it go and then ask “I wonder what else is available here” or “what else can I choose”? Everything is just a choice without rightness, wrongness or judgment.
Please share your awarenesses, a-ha’s and if you found this helpful please let me know below and I will share part 2 tomorrow.